Brain Barf

May contain traces of nuts.

Saturday, June 04, 2016


Well, it's been a while. Or years.  Or whatever. Eh.  It was a crazy fuckfest just trying to see if this blog still existed.  Then there was logging in.  Ha!
The last time I remember, I made this blog private, so I'm pretty sure I'm talking to myself.
Hi self.
I've been through some shit.
I've been through child abuse.  Check.
Last week I had to assure my adult daughter, that her grandfather wasn't her biological father.  Good fun right there.  Check.
I've been through etc., etc..
I've been through divorce. Check.
I could expound.
But I think my point is made.
I will soon "celebrate" my 42nd birthday.
The worst shit to date:
This seperation of my siblings.
We had an unspoken pact.
Obviously, our parents were FUCKED UP.
So we relied on each other.
We were tight.  
I survived because of them.
As a cold and then as an adult child....They were my ROCK.
I could handle *allthisbullshit* because of them.
And  it's gone.
And it's the hardest shit I've been through*
*See above.
I don't know why?
Is it an age thing?
Regardless, I'm quicksanding.
I've always had horrific anxiety.
But this version, is deadly.
And the rocks are gone.


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