Brain Barf

May contain traces of nuts.

Saturday, April 09, 2011


Sometimes I cry.
Sometimes I don't cry.
The don'ts are more now.
Sometimes theres just the nothing.

But its OK.
Its even better.

You never realize how exhausted you were, until you don't have to work so hard anymore.
I was so busy working work work work to FIX and solve and change, to understand that it wasn't broken, it just never was...What I thought it was.
No more eggshells.

There is this...something like, relief, thing now.
It's over.
Passing grief.

I'm even glad for the way it happened.
I wouldn't have been strong enough before.
I wouldn't have believed it, if I wouldn't have read and seen each graphic detail in the emails.
Denial wasn't an option.
And somehow, the entire time he was leaving, although I didn't "know", I was getting stronger, surrounding myself with an amazing support group. 

And I'm OK.
Sometimes I'm even really good.
And I like this incredibly strong, independent person that has climbed out.



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