Brain Barf

May contain traces of nuts.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

By the time I was old enough to realize what was going on...

I liked it.

I think that is where my major shame/guilt/blame thing comes from.
Was those few years. 

That I liked hearing the stairs creak in the middle of the night. 
That I liked the special treatment.
That I liked the power it gave me.
And HOW I used it.

(could anything on any planet in any solar system, at any time in history express something sicker? I feel like Hitler was a tender lamb compared to me.)

P.S. Yes of course, I'm adult now, a parent, and I understand.  Not my fault.  Blah blah blah.  Abuse.  Blah blaghh barf.
P.S.S. Feelings still trump logic and reason.

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