Brain Barf

May contain traces of nuts.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

NOGGIN

I feel like I'm physically growing around this life I have now.

Becoming my own.  My own parent. To fix myself.

I'm still falling, but now I have parachute skills.

Today was difficult.
I hadn't seen NOG for over a month.
But he remembered me and my story.
Which of course made me uncomfortable.

I think one of the reasons I stopped seeing RCD besides the MORMON speechless ick....was that he was fascinated by me.  I felt like a dead frog being dissected.  I was just his next science project.
I don't want to be interesting in that way.
I just found out that RCD told my husband that I was the worst avoidant he had ever seen.
I don't want to be interesting in THAT way.

So it's back to NOG. 
I'm not weak. 
This is a solution....right?
Weak people don't go out and seek help...right?
Meh.

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