Brain Barf

May contain traces of nuts.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Swimming.

It Is So Nice...to be able to talk to Dave.
And not have any secrets.
It is ???? to be accepted even with the fucked upness.

That dude deserves a medal.

I have nothing to hide anymore.
Not that I was trying to hide before..
Just a whole lot of blankness.
It's just all out there now.  In the open.
And awake.
And he still loves me. 
Even more.
And I love him crazy intense amazing with a little side of scary.

It's empowering even though it hurts me, hurts him.  With a whole lot of SUCKage.

I'm so fucking lucky to have him...and that he stuck it out...he shouldn't have.
But now we have THIS!  An all encompassing THIS.
I would re-do everything, to have THIS.
I survived stuff to get THIS.
It's so fucking amazing.
Warm and fuzzy and goopy and deep and so fucking amazing.

And I don't believe in Karma or any other religious bull-shit, but I DO feel like I'm finally getting what I deserve.
I fought so hard for so looonnnggg.  Many years without even knowing it.
And STUFF was not...IS not my fault.
But now I have THIS.
And it was so worth it.

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