Brain Barf

May contain traces of nuts.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Honest Realizations 12/21-12/27, 2008

  • The best part about my job sometimes, is that I can fart anytime I like, and everyone will assume it was one of my assisted living residents.
  • Tons of snow is beautiful and inconvenient, but can absolve me of traveling to the In-laws.
  • I mostly choose to be alone. Most of the time I don't mind.
  • I got the most insightful, thought-out gift that I've ever received this year. It brought me to my sobbing knees. Amazingly, it was from my husband. And I only bought him clothes.
  • I secretly love that my Sister in Law is a Jehovah's Witness. Because I don't have to buy her any gifts.
  • I can sometimes be more shallow than any puddle you've ever stepped in.
  • But, I laugh. I love. I hope. I try. I hurt. I need. I fear. I cry. I fail. And every once in awhile, every odd leap year on Tuesdays...I learn.

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Thursday, December 11, 2008

Growing Pains

OK, Mother Nature.
I G.E.T. it.
Enough already.

Having a baby physically wrecked me, and emotionally meta morphed...scarred is so the right word.
I've said before on this blog, that having children is like little bits of your flesh and soul running amok.

Life as known before, never to return.

The teen years are just such a rough transition.

One day you are gazing at your tiny bundle and catching your breath at that first hint of a smile, possibly gas induced grin, forever memorizing every wrinkle while they sleep heavy on your chest and worrying that you might break their fragile bodies...
And the next you are taking away their cell phones, grounding their smart ass, worrying about the wrinkles you are getting and wondering if they will break you.
One day you are sniffing the yummy fuzzy baby head, chewing on the chubby feet and rasberrying the chicken neck.
The next, you are censoring the itunes purchases, confiscating the, "Converse that reek like unto cadavers" and taking away the car keys.
And you were never so much in awe.
And then you were never so miserable.
And it's just fractions of seconds in-between.
And then this Little bundle grew, and became independent, like you groomed them to, like their supposed to.
And this separation is just as painful as the birth separation...but longer.
These painful labors are not hours, but years.
And the Mom in me realizes that this is just another necessary step.
But knowing doesn't make it easier.
And holding tighter like you want to only makes it worse.

And she'll be seventeen in less than a month, and I realize that she won't actually appreciate me for at least another ten years...and/or when she gets to experience little pieces of her flesh and soul running amok.

And I have three more...

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