Brain Barf

May contain traces of nuts.

Thursday, October 30, 2008


You really really want bacon for dinner every night, even bacon eternity. You believe in bacon! So you fanatically study books about bacon and talk to the ceiling about bacon every night. You leave the front door open for bacon to walk onto your plate. You disregard chicken, beef, fish, tofu and falafel, because bacon is salvation.
Bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon!

I'm just so frustrated THIS DAY about my father, and other religious fanatics. I haven't talked to him since last November and that didn't go too well.
His mind set and choices perplex me.
This all started THIS DAY with a general perturbment with family members of my assisted living residents.
Of 25 residents, maybe 4-5 have family members that actively visit/care/etc.
Then I had to make some self examinations.
Will I visit the parents when they are in that situation?
And then I felt like a hypocrite.
But then, I'm really good at rationalizing. Woo!
My twins turned nine in June. They are fraternal twins. They have never acted or looked anything alike. My father doesn't know which one is which. Hasn't ever called or even knew when birthdays or whatever were.
Because he is too busy being a fundamentalist Mormon, and stockpiling food/weapons in Southern Utah.
He's too caught up in MUST HAVE BACON.
I respect the bacon. I was raised with bacon.
I have what I have now.
I have today.
I don't believe in baconism.
I believe in truly, positively affecting the people I encounter and those that mean the most to me each day.
My main gripe with any religion is that it is so obviously man made.
It just boggles me that when people get to choose what to believe in they choose...that?
If I believed in a "God", she sure as hell wouldn't care what building I went to on Sundays, what underwear I wore, what water I got dunked in or who I slept with.
My second gripe, is the "know". I know it's true because I FEEL it. I read a book about it, and got a warm fuzzy I KNOW.
Well, I watched a porno one time that gave me that fuzzy feeling. Twice.
Sure bacon can be crispy and delight some, but some of us are vegetarians...and others of us have pet Pot Bellied pigs named "Pearl."

The important thing to me, and how I live my life is THIS DAY.
This day I will be there for my children/spouse/siblings.
This day I will give the best that I have this day.
This day I accept my flaws and yours.
This day I might fail, and I do, but I have this day tomorrow.
And if there was some sort of "God" where that isn't enough, then I'm fine with being voted off the island.

I wouldn't want to change my dad's views anymore than I would want him to change mine.
I don't want my dad to stop liking bacon.
I just wish he would look up from the bacon and see the people sitting at the table with him....and maybe pass some falafel?

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Thursday, October 23, 2008

Life is like a box of chocolates...

Unless you are allergic, or have diabetes, or...
  • I've had guests for six straight weekends. I've enjoyed every one, but am now considering bulldozing my guest house...again.
  • One bright side of OCD is that my house is spotless. You could lick the baseboards behind my refrigerator and get minty fresh breath.
  • Oh, and I bought new furniture, and am now stressing about it, because that's how us OCD'ers roll.
  • House guests combined with my OCD is expensive.
  • Help me teenage Jeebus if I ever have an expensive house guest who has OCD. :o)
  • One dark side of OCD is that I ended up in the ER last night wheezing and barely able to breath. Even after I stole a few puffs from my asthmatics daughter rescue inhaler. Maybe too much bleach and unrealistic expectations? Dr. Dude freaked when he heard my chest, freaked more when he learned that I haven't been to a doc (other than a booby squishing Mamo) in almost a decade. Umm, Oops.
  • I'm sick.
  • I'm crazy worried that I worked too long into it, and may have gotten one of my old farts sick.
  • I don't like Prednisone, Albuterol, Pulmicort or Z-pacs.
  • Husband isn't laid off yet. <--That article doesn't count the huge amount of temporary employees they let go, so the 18% is misleading. Sure 18% sounds small, unless you're one of them. It doesn't tell you about our neighbor, one of us that got transferred to Moses Lake (sage brush land) from Redmond (Evergreen wonderland) like we were, a few years ago...and how after he's worked for this company for 22 years, and had to have back surgery, got laid off, with a pathetic severance package. Or if you take the lousy severance package, you might not be able to collect unemployment. The crazy day to day hammer hanging over your head stress has turned him into a zombie, and me...well I have very clean base boards and newly painted walls.
  • At least WaMu gave their employees some time. They have until the end of December. We are day to day. Which means my husband can't carpool like he usually does. Which means we're funding Exon Mobiles record profits.
  • This sort of stress keeps the focus on, "what is wrong with them" instead of "what is wrong with us".
  • I think we have health insurance until the end of the month. I think it covers chest X-rays.
  • Teenage driving daughter has gotten into a wreck (not her fault, someone pulled out of a parking space into her) and been pulled over for suspected DUI (actually texting while driving) both in less that a week.
  • Her phone will be shut off if she ever pulls that shit again.
  • For the first time ever, stress has actually reduced the size of my Pangaea ass.
  • Did I mention that one of my visitors (last weekend) was my "mother"? And no one died (yet)?
  • I got my envelope in the mail and I voted for Obama, with a very cynical slant. My husband, ever the optimist, voted for Nader., we don't talk about it anymore. Keeping the least in our 2500 sq-ft (minus guest house ARGRHHH!).
  • &^%$#@)*&!#$% and (*&^%@#$^%&*(

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