Brain Barf

May contain traces of nuts.

Saturday, December 01, 2007

Abraham Martin and John

I am emotionally drained.
So far I've held off sinking, because, I need to be be available.

Today I went to the second funeral of one of my daughters friends in one month.
My daughter found out while we were in Utah by MySpace of all things.
She had washed her cell phone while we were there so she didn't have any other contact with home friends.
This girl glowed. She was my daughters youth group leader, she baptized her and was the one she went to.
If you Google her name, it comes up with multiple news articles on her cross country achievements.
She was 19 and died on Thanksgiving evening of heart failure.


I'm trying to talk my daughter into seeing a therapist.
So far she isn't willing, she thinks it means that there is something wrong with her.
I want her to see someone, because this is a lot of heaviness. It's not the norm to have two of your high school friends gone in two months.
This is something that will affect her life view, forever.
She could really use a neutral insight and a few coping skills.
Right now, she has an ulcer, and I'm going with her to the doc on Tuesday.

Our drive home for Utah in her "new" car, that we were both really looking forward to resulted in her sleeping almost the entire time.
Except for when some dip shit in Oregon (some f'd up state law that you can't fill your own tank) put regular gas in the diesel engine.
She reacted very severely, even though it eventually turned out OK.
She hasn't shown an interest in her "new" car since.
Or much of anything else.
And this wasn't in the parenting book either.
There isn't a chapter on: "When your daughters friend shoots himself in the head," or "When your amazingly beautiful, picture of health daughters friend dies of heart failure."
And I'm scared...sad... and worried.

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  • At Sunday, December 02, 2007 12:46:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Oh, I'm so sorry, K. This really is too much for you to bear. Your daughter probably doesn't know what this is doing to her, but you do. And you probably get the double whammo parents get when they feel their children's pain, added to their own.

    Sending my ((hugs)), and knowing that won't do much to help.

    - Ph

  • At Sunday, December 02, 2007 4:50:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Good God, K, that's horrible. My sympathies to your daughter.

    Your daughter is fortunate to have you for a mom--and you're spot-on about getting her to see a therapist.


  • At Sunday, December 16, 2007 9:55:00 PM, Anonymous wry catcher said…

    Somehow I still overidentify with being a teenager myself. And I remember vividly the deaths that knocked me off my feet back then. It's devastating. I'm sure your daughter will get through it. She's got one hell of a mom. Hang in there, and here's hoping you can talk her into the therapist.


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