Brain Barf

May contain traces of nuts.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

What's your name, who's your Daddy...?

Sheesh and woosh!

What a week!
This last weekend was my oldest daughters second softball tournament of the season and my younger daughters first.
Yes, you read that right, my younger daughter got recruited after a coach saw her playing Park and Rec ball.
It is the same organization, and I guess they can see a sucker (a.k.a. dedicated family) when they see one. At twelve years old it isn't so much about her skills as it is about a committed support system.
My oldest is playing for the 14u team and my younger is now playing for the 12u team.
They both did great, but in different ways.
It was and will be a huge adjustment for my younger daughter. Tournament ball is a lot more intense than she is used to.
She's a very sensitive soul and it will take her awhile to acclimate to actual coaching.
She's also not playing her normal position, catcher, because the team doesn't need another one at this time, so another huge change and learning curve there (plus a new glove that isn't broken in yet).
BUT she did have the ONLY double play her team had in the entire tournament (hey they're twelve, piss off).
I saw the first part, and had to ask another parent if the second part of the double play happened because I couldn't see for some reason.
Seriously, I don't usually cry at Softball of all things, but my younger daughter is SO hard on herself (which is why she is always on the honor roll), and she was SO nervous, that when on her FIRST tournament game EVER she made an awesome play, the saline just started leaking out of my eyeballs.

This coming weekend, my oldest daughter has a tournament in Wenatchee Washington and my younger daughter has a tournament in Coeur d'Alene Idaho.
I've spent most of this week trying to clone myself. You may call me Dolly.
Dad is going to step up to the plate (Gawd am I clever, or lame?) and take one daughter, but HOW can I possibly choose where to go?
I think it's going to come down to a freaking quarter toss and then laying on the floor in a puddle on my part.
I have major photos, but all of them have big fat team logos on them, so you'll just have to use your imagination.

Gear change.
I don't have TV or desire TV and haven't for seven years (that is what MLB online is for and JOOST, which I am loving and if you want a hookup and you are awesome nerd like me, I'll send you an invite).
Anyway, I heard somewhere that the two finalists from American Idol were from Washington.
So I googled and You Tubed.
I saw the audition for some finalist guy named "Blake."
I saw his parents that actually cared, and they cried and honestly seemed excited for him when he got accepted.
It made me think about my own parents. Neither of whom I talk to. For my "Mom" it has been about three+ years and my Dad, about four months, since we talked.
Sure, I could easily call them up tomorrow and *talk*, but that isn't what is actually missing.
Plus there would be major consequences on my part for opening that door.
It's a very heavy door.
It makes me sad for my children that they don't have amazing Grandparents like I did.
Something got screwed up along the way...and my Grandparents were Mormon too, so that isn't "the" excuse.

I read "Fussy" tonight, another awesome blog that I've long been addicted to. Her dad just died unexpectedly.
She posted beautiful pictures and stories and it overwhelmed me.
http://www.fussy.org/

I don't know how to verbalize, or I guess, typelize, how much I wish I had parents that cared or were interested in my children or THEIR children for that matter.

And it made me miss Jo. One of my first blogger buddies. One that actually prompted me to start this whiny self indulgent cesspool version of a blog. She didn't have a relationship with her "mother" either and made me not feel so alone about...wishing...at any age...


(if my song playlist is messing with you, your browser or your general sense of well being, let me know and I'll delete it)

Labels: ,

2 Comments:

  • At Thursday, May 24, 2007 7:20:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    What's Joost and MLB?

    Now that one child has moved away from home, I realize how schizophrenic I felt all the time trying to be two places at once all the time. Your kids have TWO good parents who have to sometimes miss things occasionally, but that's still way better than you had, so tell them to just be grateful or you'll send them to live with your parents for a week.

    -Phoebe

    If I qualify as a cool nerd, how can I get the scoop on Joost from you?

     
  • At Tuesday, May 29, 2007 9:00:00 AM, Blogger JoeinVegas said…

    Oh yes, how do you choose which girl to go with?

     

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home