Brain Barf

May contain traces of nuts.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Phorgive me Pheebe

I have two dogs.
I live in a town where there are leash laws and pet licenses are required.
To get the license you have to show proof of rabies shots.
If your dog isn't neutered you pay about five times as much.
I think it is great policy.
Leash laws rock.
Requiring shots makes complete sense.
Neutering is responsible.
No problemo.
My dogs are licensed, and are always current on their shots.
Mr. Moses Old Fart Golden Retriever has been fixed for six+ years and Ms. Banana Wonder Mutt Extraordinaire has an appointment on March 20th to have her baby making parts removed, because that's when she will be old enough.
(Dearest Ann, I swear I didn't name my dog after you, although I adore you enough to do so. She came with the horrible name of "Roxanne" and after a few versus of Sting, I dubbed her Ms. Banana because she wouldn't answer to "slut" and "banana" was close enough to Roxanne for her to recognise.)
Why oh WHY aren't the same rules applied to cats?
I may be biased, because I'm allergic, and cats are dumb, but seriously?
I don't think cats should be on a leash (but if you try, can I watch?), but shouldn't they have the same licensing and shot requirements of dogs?
My Hot Vet has also informed me that the flea problem in this town is mostly due to stray cats.
Note to self, buy stock in Frontline/Advantage.

I'm sure other more progressed townships require this, but until then, I shall curse every flea bitten stray cat and yell, "MORMON!" every time I see one, because you know, reality rules don't apply to cats and it makes me all tingly.

P.S. It has begun. Softball/Baseball season is upon us. No free weekends now until August.



  • At Friday, March 16, 2007 9:12:00 AM, Blogger JoeinVegas said…

    I like it when you get all tingly.

  • At Friday, March 16, 2007 7:56:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I agree with you 100% -- no need for apologies. As I understand it, the licensing/vaccination does apply to cats, but cat owners can be divided into two or three categories:

    Bad Mormons: they don't spay, neuter, vaccinate, feed, or pay attention to their cats. Their money goes toward tithing and lottery tickets and diapers -- not feline health care.

    Pathetic Cat Owners: they vaccinate their cats, feed them tiny cans of cat food that costs $1.450 each, and they don't allow their cats to go outside, risking mingling with the burgeiose (fuck the spelling), flea-bitten alley cats. Their cats wear jeweled collars with vaccination tags and name tags sporting names such as: Muffin, Mittens, Moxy, and Nancy Bush.

    Cat Owners Like Me:
    We believe in being honest, true, plastered, benevolent, sarcastic, and in doing good to all handsome athletic men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul—We believe nothing unless we've stuck our own noses in it, we hope all things have catnip sprinkled on it, we have endured many things like dogs and children, and hope to be able to catch that squirrel that mocks us from the roof. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things, unless we're kind of tired and would rather take a nap.

    You're the best dog owner in the world.

    - Phoebe


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