Brain Barf

May contain traces of nuts.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

This too shall pass

Guns don't kill people, people kill people...But you have to admit the gun helps.
I'm experiencing my annual "Mormon upbringing twitch", where I briefly review where I've been, and where I am now.
I'm one of those who DID get offended by the people and left the church because of it.
I went to the fireside talk as a teen, where I was told that people who had premarital sex, were like a piece of bread with the butter licked off.
Sure you can repent, but you are still butterless saliva soaked bread.
But when I was pregnant at 16, I did a 360.
I went back to church and totally surrendered myself to religion.
I needed to believe, wanted to be "that" person.
I walked the walk.

I went to "relief society" as a teen.
Heck, I even played Canon in D in Sacrament meeting at my sisters missionary farewell.
I continued going to church after my daughter was born.
One Sunday, while dealing with a fussy new born, and honestly trying to survive and learn through a "relief society" class, she caught me in the hall afterwards and told me that me and my illegitimate child (boy does that word piss me off) blackened the place.
I actually feel very indebted to this woman, my previous young women's "leader."
The "people" did make me leave, but thankfully, made me open a new door.
I investigated, I found words and PROOF to justify every misgiving I had ever had.
I learned to trust in myself and my own judgment.
I discovered that everyone is flawed.
I realized that people make up invisible dudes in the sky to justify their actions or in-actions.
I accept that people are just scared monkeys, who seek comfort in a "higher power" in an attempt to deal with their own mortality.
I need to send a "Thank You" card.


  • At Tuesday, October 10, 2006 12:31:00 PM, Blogger Miranda said…

    You should send that THANK YOU card. No, really.

    Your story is very similiar to my "Why I am No Longer a Practicing Roman Catholic." I should go find that priest and send him a THANK YOU card. And the Pope, too.

  • At Tuesday, October 10, 2006 7:25:00 PM, Blogger Ann said…

    Fucking bitch.

    Can I say that on your blog?

  • At Wednesday, October 11, 2006 6:06:00 PM, Blogger Phoebe said…

    Anne -- you took the words straight out of my mouth.

    That burns me up, and I'm not just saying that.

    You've made me think, though. I'm tempted to send the former bishop of this ward a thank you letter for monopolizing all my husband's spare time for that critical year when the kids and I desperately needed him home. That's when I picked up "Mormon Enigma" and started my journey out of this fucking cult.

    By the way -- nice to meet you, Saliva-soaked Butterless Bread. I'm Glass Full of Dirty Water that Never Goes Away.

  • At Wednesday, October 11, 2006 7:40:00 PM, Blogger Ann said…

    You know, when I went to the temple, I could have sworn they said to me, "you are free of the blood and sins of this generation, and your sins are forgiven you, and you are clean, every whit."

    I must've dreamed that part or something...

  • At Thursday, October 12, 2006 3:27:00 PM, Blogger Phoebe said…

    Yup, they said it.
    They said it after they touched our naked bodies with oil-smeared fingers :)

  • At Thursday, October 12, 2006 8:04:00 PM, Blogger JoeinVegas said…

    Naked bodies and oil soaked fingers? No wonder I didn't like it, I was in the wrong church.
    (that does sound more like a Vegas church though)


Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home