Brain Barf

May contain traces of nuts.

Friday, September 29, 2006

Not for the lactose intolerant

Because there is much cheese ahead:

I had no idea.
Today was the tenth anniversary of our first date.
apparently the spousal dude keeps track of these things (in my lame assed lack of memory defense, it was also his work anniversary and he got a raise today, so that mostly reminded him, and not that kind of raise you perverts).

My oldest sister set us up on our first date.
He called and thanked her today.
My youngest sister who worked at the Fall City Greenhouse, and unbeknownst to both of them at the time, sold him the flowers he brought me on our first date.
He called and thanked her today.
He did all of this before he woke me up this morning with latte in hand, while he let me sleep in, and single handedly got four children fed, clothed and off to their respective learning centers.

To be loved by someone who lives and experiences your every flaw?
Especially since the road has been rocky in the past year...Wait, more like, there were some big fucking angry boulders with machine guns, and we didn't have a map or body armor. When what you had was almost lost, it makes the remembering and the now...*insert really powerful irreplaceable word here*
The English language seems to be lacking in an accurate word to describe this feeling.

So...I'm loved, and ditto that.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Mortifying insult that starts with "W"

Links procured (read: stolen) from one of my favorite websites.

(If I were Phoebe I would have totally HTML'd these links and made them BEE-YOU-TIF-FULL, but I'm not, so deal my lameness, and just CLICK the mother fuckers already)
Watching these vids was one of the most satisfying yet frustrating 15+ minutes I've experienced clothed.
I've voted in every fucking election since my 18th birthday, I've written my congressmen,(I've even been shunned at a city council meeting where I suggested that cats not needing licenses like dogs do, was blatant discrimination, but that's a different story) and I will bake the impeachment cake when it happens, what else can us "non-owners" do?
I wonder how much longer and how much lower can this country sink?
Answers please.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Dearest Pheebs and DooDew:

Profound Text.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Addled Ape

This human thing?
This desire for other people?
I do understand the biological need for attachments.
It is why the human race survives.
It also creates a convenient group of people that can now freely screw you over.

And this whole higher reasoning thing is working out just great.
Smart enough to make bombs, but too stupid to not use them.
Imaginative enough to create religion, but too weak to discard it.
But it's all OK, because my imaginary friend in the sky is better than yours, so don't mind the knife.
Jaded Monkey.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Failure to not feel

I am not usually one to conform.
OK fine, I have a blog, but that's more about my warped sense of self importance than social assent. :o)
BUT, I live in this country. I have my own 9-11 experience.
I guess I just want to talk about it a bit.
Everyone is talking about "where they were", like the challenger explosion and the assassination of JKF, or like that time my Dad married that one chick right after he divorced my "mom" and she didn't even speak English nor he Spanish and it only lasted for a few months...Wait scratch the last one.
Part of healing is talking about it, and impeaching George W. Bush, but now I'm getting wishful.
I had just moved from Western WA to Eastern Washington, into a very small town.
Away from my home, friends and family.
We had lived in our new house for only a few days before 9-11.
My girls had just started their new school.
My sister was living in my guest house while she went to nursing school.
It was Tuesday.
Get the scene?
Scene was, that my world was pretty shaken already.
My sister ran into my house just a bit after 6am and told me a plane had crashed into the world trade center.
Being the awesome morning person that I am, I thought, that is really terrible, and rolled over.
About 20+ or- minutes later, she came back in, this time panicky, and said another plane had hit the other tower.
This got me out of bed and I turned on the TV (back in the days when I had TV).
I tuned in just in time to watch the first tower fall.
My sister left for nursing school.
I sat.
Two inches away from the screen.
I watched the second tower fall.
And I cried.
I called my daughters school to report their absence.
To this very day, what the school secretary said pisses me off.
She said is this about what is going on in New York?
I said, yes.
She said, "send them to school", it is perfectly safe.

  1. She had no knowledge, crystal ball or right to say that.
  2. We live about 2 hours north of Hanford.
  3. We live about 1 hour south of the Grand Coulee Dam.
  4. What level of basic respect for our country under attack is acceptable to you?

My girls were young enough not care about anything other than a day off of school. My boys were just babies.

I sat, glued to the tube in shock. I kept wiping the TV screen because it was blurry, and when that didn't work, realized I was sobbing.

And then the Pentagon.

And then flight 93.

My husbands evil "eastern WA Transferring" work even sent their employees home at noon.

I didn't want to see, know, or feel what was going on, but these were my people, my country, and I was horrified and obligated.

I was panic stricken, maybe "we" were next.

After such an emotionally draining day, my husband and I agreed to turn off the TV and go to bed.

He went to work the next day, and I sent the girls to school.

Unbeknownst to me, the small town we moved to had a warning siren that they tested every Wednesday at noon. A warning siren for if the Coulee Damn broke.

I was home alone with my twin babies when the siren went off. It was a slow motion, life flashing moment for me. I truly believed that it was over. My girls weren't with me, and my husband was a 1/2 hour away. Not a feeling or memory I would like to repeat, but not even close to what "they" must have felt.

This is where I should get all political and rant about how our government/administration continually fails us and rapes us up the ass.

But seeing it all again today, made me weary.

But now and every day, I hold mine a little tighter.

Sunday, September 03, 2006


The Edge... There is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.
~Hunter S. Thompson~

Well then, I might as well stop writing. ;o)

School started on Tuesday.
I drive FOUR children to their educational destinations every morning, and back every afternoon.
Because, that's what OCD paranoid parents do.

Two of them are still in booster seats, but it doesn't thwart this bi-daily argument:


If Shrub Junior only took the constitution this seriously.