Brain Barf

May contain traces of nuts.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Chill and deal or I will kick you.

I am self diagnosing myself with "restless leg syndrome".
But it doesn't happen when I am sleeping.

It happens at work when I want to kick lousy family members asses.
Example A: As I predicted, the resident falls, because she needs more care and supervision than we can possibly provide.
This is why she was given 30 days notice 50+ days ago, which you chose to ignore.

It happens at ball games when poopy parents ruin the game for the KIDS ( is someone confused about the purpose of youth sports?) and my leg starts twitching for a kicking.

Example A: Oldest daughter (14) has been volunteering (volunteering, meaning without pay or compensation, out of the goodness of ones heart and/or performing a service that others don't want to do) to ump at the younger ages city softball league games. With her experience, she has been very consistent and impartial (especially because she has been subject to quite a few poorly PAID umped games). In the last game she umped, she made a tough call, to which both team coaches agreed upon was a fair call.
Insert testosterone charged, redneck, possibly intoxicated and/or mentally ill "parent" here.
Ump in tears, spirit of the game ruined, and girls from both teams embarrassed and hesitant to make any more plays. (My girl toughed it out, and I am....Beyond words with her ability to chill and deal, and still volunteer) (I so fucking rhyme).

Example B: My oldest daughters tournament team coach's ultimate demand/priority is good sportsmanship. All of the girls and the parents on our team had to sign a contract stating as much to be allowed on the team.
Insert hecklers (usually parents, sometimes our teams).
Insert the opposing teams base runner, who when trying to steal, our girl caught the ball and was in front of second base to tag her, so her coached attempt to not getting out was to punch our second basegirl... in.the.face.

Coming soon, restless foot in your ass syndrome (I am heavily insured and look hot in steel toed boots).


  • At Monday, May 22, 2006 12:58:00 PM, Blogger JoeinVegas said…

    Oh, sports parents. I still say you should carry around a baseball bat and use it on them.
    Or learn what cars they belong to, and sneak out and break all the windows.


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