Brain Barf

May contain traces of nuts.

Friday, March 31, 2006

This blog is WAY past due for lighter fare.

Stolen fair and square from:

Have you ever:
(X) Smoked a cigarette
(X) Drank so much you threw up
( ) Crashed a friend's car
(X) Stolen a car (my sisters while she was at a dance and they had to walk home, she hasn't yet forgiven me)
(X) Been in love
(X) Been dumped
( ) Been laid off/fired
(X) Quit your job
( ) Been in a fist fight
(X) Sneaked out of your parent's house
(X) Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) Been arrested
(X) Gone on a blind date
(X) Lied to a friend (sorry)
(X) Skipped school
( XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX...) Seen someone die
(X) Been to Canada
(X) Been to Mexico
(X) Been on a plane
(X) Been lost (in so many ways)
( ) Been on the opposite side of the country (farthest east I've gone is Michigan)
( ) Gone to Washington, DC
(X) Swam in the ocean
(X) Felt like dying
(X) Cried yourself to sleep (seem like these two go hand in hand)
(X) Played cops and robbers (of course! I have twin boys!)
(X) Recently colored with crayons (ditto above)
(X ) Sang karaoke (I'm eternally embarrassed)
( ) Paid for a meal with only coins
(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't?
(X) Made prank phone calls.
(X) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out ofyour nose (keep back, I spray)
(X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue.
(X) Danced in the rain - and the snow
( ) Written a letter to Santa Clause
(X) Been kissed under the mistletoe
(X) Watched the sun rise with someone you care about.
(X) Blown bubbles
(X) Made a bonfire on the beach
( ) Crashed a party
(X) Gone roller-skating
(X ) Ice-skating
1. Any nicknames? Yes. My name is Keri, hence, Hairy Keri, Care bear, and my daddy calls me "cherry tree" because my first and middle is Keri Leigh.
2. Mother's name? It's way too unusual to post.
3. What is your favorite drink? Water, Corona light with lime and sometimes salt.
4. Tattoos? No, I've seen too many saggy/wrinkled tattoos at work.
5. Body piercing? Bruck Bruck, except for my ears.
6. How much do you love your job? I don't necessarily love my job, but, love the people I take care of.
7. Birthplace: American Fork Utah.
8. Favorite vacation spot? My kids and I on any beach.
9. Ever been to Africa? Nope.
10. Ever steal any traffic signs? Just one, and I feel guilty about it to this day, but C'mon, those "slow children at play" signs are just asking for it.
11. Ever been in a car accident? No, knock on wood.
12. 2 Door or 4 Door? Dude I have Mormon roots, must you ask?
13. Salad dressing? Blue cheese baby.
14. Favorite pie? Ick, no.
15. Favorite number? 6
16. Favorite movie? The Life of Brian.
17. Favorite holiday? Children's faces at Christmas can't be beat.
18. Favorite book? The Brothers K for 6 years running. It's just that awesome, knowing that I average two books a week.
19. Favorite food? My own homemade salsa on anything.
20. Favorite day of the week? Today, everyday with my kids.
21. Favorite brand of body soap? Whatever washes away the stink.
22. Favorite TV show? No TV here, but I rent National Geographic often.
23. Toothpaste? Whatever is on sale and pasty.
24. Favorite smell? My babies heads, bleach, salty sea air and campfires.
25. What do you do to relax? Read, blog, read blogs and read. :o)
26. Message to your friends reading this? Hi.
27. How do you see yourself in 10 years? Hopefully a soon to be rotten spoiling grandparent and nurse.
28. What do you do when you are bored? This and turn into a tickle monster.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

What not to do:

Think that things can't get any worse, because then:

  • Your water heater will burst and flood your basement (ruining, carpet, rugs, furniture and everything else in it, yay for cold showers).
  • Your husband will move back into your guest house (this time it's looking real, yay for cold showers).

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Wherein Keri shits a brick

In my attempts to speed up my school savings fund (meaning, get my aging pangaea ass back in college already, because each quarter lost is tangibly painful and for some reason I'm not getting any younger?) I applied for a job as a private home care giver for a quadriplegic man in my town.
I met with him and his care giver.
Quadriplegic man: very interesting/congenial and was searching for someone to give his current care giver some time off. He was impressed with my credentials and wanted to hire me on the spot.
Current care giver: very bad vibes. My internal alarms were so loud I think their decibel levels killed some of my precious remaining brain cells and may have harmed some wildlife.
I lifted and shook the quads hand and told him I would let him know and left (quickly, like a T-Rex was chasing me, in a calm sort of way).
I tried to shrug it off as part of my social anxiety, or that I didn't really want to digitally stimulate him every time he needed a bowel movement.

But something wasn't right, and I just couldn't shake it.

Had I seen this man somewhere before?
Maybe my guts and instincts, that have always served me well, needed a tune up?
Maybe it really was time for me to take a pill?

It took me a few days, but I placed him, and politely (freaked) refused the job.

Level III
These offenders pose a potential high risk to the community and are a threat to re-offend if provided the opportunity. Most have prior sex crime convictions as well as other criminal convictions. Their lifestyles and choices place them in this classification. Some have predatory characteristics and may seek out victims. They may have refused or failed to complete approved treatment programs.
Convicting Crime: Rape RCW: 9A.44.000

Now, I believe that the sex offender registry is generally ineffective and that it creates a false sense of security...Because really, most of the sick motherfuckers haven't been caught yet...BUT...Praise Dog that it exists and that I check it every now and then.
(The law won't allow me to post a name/picture, but I do have an email address if you want to join my brick shitting club and have joint nightmares).

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

The game of life.

Jill, the fancy cancer rat died in her sleep.
We made a casket out of pop-sickle sticks and cardboard.
We had a service.
Everyone cried, except Dad, who was at work.
I answered, the best I could, 101 questions about death.
NO, cancer is not contagious.
Yes everything dies.
Yes, if we ever sell our house, we will inform the new owners where our fancy cancer rat is buried so they won't dig her up, etc...

Twins A&B, co-owners of A&B Destruction Company, are improving by leaps and bounds now that they are in their regular first grade class full time.

Their teachers are amazing and their principle still sucks arse.

Oldest daughter is struggling in Algebra (sorry about those genes daughter). She was one of only 30 kids in her school to test into the advanced math class. It is affecting her GPA, self esteem and her membership on the student body elect status. She is also suffering burnout because of her 3 days a week conditioning, 3 days a week softball, 4 days a week volleyball, youth group and various life responsibilities.

Second oldest, very shy/introverted, daughter seems to have contracted the "middle child syndrome". I bought her two journals. One just for her, and one for us. Her journal is, of course, private, and OUR journal is where we talk to each other when words are too difficult. It seems to be working. *crossing fingers* The journal seems to make her feelings less difficult to express, and for me, more able to access.

Twin A, (the twin with the severe expressive language issues) has been to his outside speech therapist three times now ( the Speech Language Pathologist (SLP) and I have the same last name and are very much Mormonly related) . The SLP is successfully working with Twin A in areas that I hadn't even considered. I.E. Placing a mirror in front of him, with popular action figures, and making him pronounce their name correctly while looking in the mirror.

The husband and I are arguing.

Life is normal, good, etc...

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Do I put this in the wins or loss column?

Because this is the way things operate in Keri World:

Jill the rat is still alive and actually doing a little better but Dave the fish died.

(I feel guilty that I got a little chuckle out of this)