Brain Barf

May contain traces of nuts.

Monday, February 27, 2006


I've never killed anything.
OK, fine, the bees and such that have hit my windshield, yes.
THAT wasn't intentional.
I was raised on a farm and bottle fed the animals my father killed for food.
I went hunting with my dad, and he even made me shoot a clay pigeon once.
But I cried every time.
I overdosed my fancy rat, Jill, tonight.
No laughing, it's real to me.
She's had cancer for QUITE awhile and I'm surprised how long she has lasted.
But today...When I finally saw her in pain, her body wasn't keeping temp, and she was frantically hungry, but her organs were swollen, hard and no longer functioning/digesting...I fed her Fruit Loops soaked in codeine syrup.

The positive side of this experience: it has opened discussion doors with my children about life/death and everything in-between in a larger sense.

I couldn't separate her from Jack (my other fancy rat), because you want to die with the ones you love around you, so I put a heating pad under their cage, set on low to keep her warm, until...
I've always been in favor of assisted suicide. I have watched too many people suffer and painfully linger on (mostly due to the wishes of their families needs, not theirs).
Would my views be the same if I was the one to pull the plug?
I don't know.
But I did intentionally kill a living organism tonight.
I'm OK with it right now.
At least until the morning when I have to experience the fruits of my labor.
I'm such a softie.


  • At Tuesday, February 28, 2006 12:42:00 PM, Blogger JoeinVegas said…

    But what about Jack?

  • At Wednesday, March 01, 2006 12:56:00 PM, Blogger Cjara said…

    I'm such a softie.

    Makes 2 of us.


  • At Saturday, March 04, 2006 8:32:00 AM, Blogger doug said…

    5 years ago I was for a modified form of assisted suicide (not full-on assisted suicide) sort of like your fruitloop induced comfort with heavy dose of comfort. Today I am balls to the wall in favor of assisted suicide - sally on up to my necro-cocktail and let the slumber roll. What changed, well I stopped factoring dog and all the rules changed. Weird...hey, the song lied, "woo, woo, woo" it's not magic.


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