Brain Barf

May contain traces of nuts.

Saturday, August 20, 2005

Brought to you by Gastroenteritis!!

I am employed in a field, where not only can I automatically describe the smell, texture and appearance of all bodily excretions, I am required to. Often at great length...on paper...with my signature.
School resumes for me, on September 19th.
I am voluntarily, paying for the privilege to fully and more accurately describe the loamy texture, odor and appearance of previously mentioned excretions.
I will soon be licensed to stick my gloved finger up your ass!! And chart how it looked, smelled and felt like!!
Digital extractions, what fun!!
Coming soon to a hospital near you!!


(just strap me into the comfy white jacket already)


  • At Saturday, August 20, 2005 2:33:00 PM, Blogger Randy said…

    Several years ago, my Elders Quorum President had the pleasure of sticking his finger up my ass to check for hemorrhoids. He looked at my age on the chart; asked whether my prostate had been examined recently; then rammed his finger in really hard. The guy is an excellent doctor, so I didn't really mind. I just wasn't expecting that.

  • At Saturday, August 20, 2005 11:27:00 PM, Blogger Phoebe said…

    I ... oh ... hell. That was funny. But now I can't get this mental picture I have of you out of my head: you with this evil smirk, snapping on a pair of latex gloves.

  • At Monday, August 22, 2005 7:53:00 AM, Blogger JoeinVegas said…

    Yes, evil smirk and glove snap - "Please bend over and say ahhhhh"
    How far can you reach?
    But those of us that need it do thank you for doing it.

  • At Thursday, August 25, 2005 11:36:00 AM, Blogger Cjara said…

    A thankless job indeed, and I'm glad and greatly respect the someone who is willing to do it.


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