Brain Barf

May contain traces of nuts.

Monday, July 25, 2005

I'm missing people

Has anybody here seen my old friend Abraham?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
He freed a lot of people,
But it seems the good they die young.
You know, I just looked around and he's gone.
Anybody here seen my old friend John?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
He freed a lot of people,
But it seems the good they die young.
I just looked around and he's gone.
Anybody here seen my old friend Martin?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
He freed a lot of people,
But it seems the good they die young.
I just looked 'round and he's gone.
Didn't you love the things that they stood for?
Didn't they try to find some good for you and me?
And we'll be free
Some day soon, and it's a-gonna be one day ...
Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up over the hill,
With Abraham, Martin and John.

Monday, July 18, 2005

Child labor laws?

This is what happens when your parents stay up all night installing flooring in their new house.
Congrats Brother, on your new home, but please don't make me report you. :o)
(How cute is that tummy?)

Saturday, July 16, 2005

Softly scented

CNN is currently my homepage, but they have failed me for the last time.
Harry Potter frenzy is the most newsworthy item?
Sure, I watched the movies when they came out on DVD and they were OK, but the main story on CNN?
Iraq? Africa? Rove? Terrorists? George Dubya Twit who is fucking our nation?
That irritates me almost as much as (when I had TV about two years ago) when television"news" programs would talk about other television shows (oh the pathetic irony). Irritated me so much in fact that not only did I change the station, I no longer allowed the insult of mind rotting television in my house. PERMANENTLY SHUT OFF.
It hasn't been missed, even by my children (I can watch the Mariners lose on-line).
Dear network television and massive news conglomerates,
I realize that you may be the whore of our dumbed down society, but if I want to read about Harry Potter I would buy the book and/or go to the website. If I wanted to watch survivor or American idol I would change the channel and do so. You must recognize that if you need to talk about other television shows on YOUR television show, your producers need to be fired, right after their frontal lobotomy. "We are really not that interesting and/or creative, so watch THIS program!!".

MWF seeking new homepage.

In more important news, Twin B tells me that he likes to hug me because I smell "soft". Put THAT on CNN and it would be an improvement.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

As long as I'm living...

All of my children are amazing and unique in their own way and identities.
They each have their strengths and weaknesses, just like the rest of us.
They each commit some sort of act, DAILY, that makes grateful that I have a uterus.

Twin A, has such a soft heart that I sometimes worry about him and his future dealings with the harsh (mother fuking kick your ass society) world. He is six, and already worrying about Petunia (the poopmeister) and me missing him when he grows up. (I had him sign in crayon that he will buy the house next door).
But...for now, I am truly and selfishly enjoying his ever so sincere heart.
You know that book, that makes every mother bawl their eyes out? Yeah that one.
I read it to my girls until it was worn out, so it never got read to my boys.
Last night, we were watching a movie and Twin A walked up to me (with his dangerously long eyelashes) and asked if he could sit on my lap.
That right there is sweet enough it should have a Diabetic warning label.
I said, "Of COURSE, twin A!! You can sit on my lap anytime, even when you are as big, hairy and smelly as Daddy".
Twin A responded, "when I am as big as Daddy, you can sit on my lap too".
No, I will not rent him out. Get your own.

Sunday, July 03, 2005

Today's list:*

*Not in order of severity of grievance.

  • Hair stylist (title used loosely) who wanted to hack my hair off.
  • Pathetic shame of a nurse (who fucked up the meds).
  • Jorge Dubya, your father and your enablers will make the list daily (even when you are long dead).
  • Visiting MIL (who mistakenly believes that her son can do no wrong).
  • Corona Light (for not spontaneously reproducing).
  • Message board non-participants (including me).
  • Edward Duncan (and all other soul-less fecal matter).
  • Febreeze, for not making the stench dissipate (If you sold "republican spray" I would still purchase it, just on principle).
  • Thirteen year olds daughters All-star Softball coach (because you need to grow the fuck up and not discriminate against my daughter for being on another ((better)) team).
  • Family of MY patient (who is making their Mothers living Hell even worse by not respecting her rights and wishes).
  • Petunia (who cannot release turds unless she is on a leash held by my ten year old daughter).
  • Lancome Renergie ( you LIE).

Obviously, an incomplete list, but for once, I think I may be able to sleep.

Friday, July 01, 2005

Fuck OFF Marvin K. Rooney

The time has come, that I recognize that the cashier is not flirting with me, but flirting with my thirteen year old daughter (one more inch dude, and I will cut you... just try me).
The time is now, that my job is taking more a of physical toll on me than mental (it took counseling).
In a few days I will be as old as Miranda ~gasp~.
I must research plot prices.
I take comfort in my blogger friends:
Jo, Joe, Schmo(e), VooDew, Dumpster, Phoebe, Ann and previously mentioned, Miranda.
Because they are all older than me. :o)