Brain Barf

May contain traces of nuts.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Mental Indigestion

I was going to delete this useless waste of internet space until.....meh...WTF? No one gives a shit anyway and I need to "barf" occasional.
That being said, I'm not going to make any efforts at grammar, political correctness and/or order.
I was 16, pregnant and being hidden away in Salt Lake City so as not to *shame* my Mormon family in happy valley.
My older sister and I were sharing an apartment on Quince Avenue (that my parents paid for, kinda like hush money, although no one could convince the landlord that we weren't a Lesbo couple.)
My oldest daughter was created on a diet of Ramen and Macaroni noodles and I a grew a spine and found my soul on Quince avenue.
I went from deciding to have an abortion, to giving "it" up for adoption to....Six months pregnant and feeling HER move for the first time.
Thirteen years and some months later, my first reason for living is in Disney Land and I miss her (but not so much her attitude, I don't know WHERE she gets it from) like a toothache.
Any honest mother will tell you that there is something different and special about a first born.
Tomorrow/Today my newborn babies turn six.
I am a Mom, or Wow as my boys spell it (with no correction from me).
I am a MOM.
I feel free to suck donkey ass in every other aspect of my life except that.

4 Comments:

  • At Wednesday, June 22, 2005 1:57:00 PM, Blogger Just Me said…

    I was wondering where you were! Off sucking donkey ass I see. :) I hear you about the MOM / WOW thing. Nothing is more important than my babies. Even my 26 yo first born.

    I've missed you, DAMMIT!

     
  • At Wednesday, June 22, 2005 4:19:00 PM, Blogger Miranda said…

    Boy can I relate to your post except my first born is a boy and I was a few years older and I don't have twin demon spawn but my youngest kind of acts like two demon spawn so its sorta equal.

    You keep a better head about the whole thing, though.

     
  • At Thursday, June 23, 2005 3:56:00 AM, Blogger none said…

    Keri you are my hero!

    I decided that as long as I´m a good mom I can live with being a loser in everything else.

     
  • At Saturday, June 25, 2005 12:03:00 AM, Blogger Phoebe said…

    Keri, I don't know what crappy standards you are measuring yourself by to think you are in any way a loser, but I do understand the sentiment about feeling good about at least one thing -- being a good mom, which you are. Remember what I just said for the time when your kids turn into teenagers and make you feel like you didn't even do that one thing right.
    I love ya, man. Don't let the world get too heavy on your shoulders; it has the effect of making you doubt what a wonderful human being you are.
    (Note to myself: take your own advice for once)

     

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