Brain Barf

May contain traces of nuts.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Why Keri sucks 101

Despite all of my efforts at trying not to make my children hate me, like I have hated my own "mother", I finally realized that it isn't my choice or, really even possible.
My oldest, now at 13, is already taking notes and forming her resentments against me for future counseling sessions.
I AM the person with whom they will eternally lay blame. There just isn't anyone else up for the position.
If this is my lot, fine.
I HATE, DESPISE and involuntarily VOMIT at any sort of organized religion and/or submission to a "higher power" shit. It literally makes my skin crawl and my stomach turn.
BUT, when my 10 year old asked to go to church because "all of her friends were doing it", I dug out my dusty "play nice clothes" and woke up (way too fucking early) on Sunday and went to a (Christian) Foursquare church with her. I chose this church because the pastor is the son of the fluorescent Green Cancer dead lady that I loved so much.
My neck muscles STILL ache from straining not to violently shake my head in absolute astonishment at what these people suck up and believe.
I found that my neighbors across the street attend this church (so that's where they go every Sunday, I assumed they were having their incisors sharpened). These are the neighbors who have done everything in their power to make us feel un-welcome. Theirs is the house with 8 dead cars in the back yard, knee high grass and any child that dare knock on their un-lit door at Halloween would get a lovely Granny smith razor apple. Their eyes don't know anything other than the, evil self righteous GLARE position. They have even called the police on my golden retriever at 3 in the afternoon while he was in the house drooling/sleeping, for making too much noise (get a job?).
But maybe that's just the sort of super dooper people they are?
Needless to say, they have MAJOR Karma going on. I WILL sell tickets at their "reckoning".
I endured all of this for my daughters sake. She was ultimately bored and un-interested, but I would do it 10 times each week, and twice on Tuesdays if that is what makes her happy.
I am starting to feel resigned to the fact that my children will resent me regardless of what I do.
Now, I can't transfer this knowledge to my own "mother", because she walks with Hitler.
Wait...Nah, I can't go there.


  • At Saturday, February 19, 2005 10:54:00 AM, Blogger Phoebe said…

    Isn't that the truth, though? I have treated my daughter like Her Royal Highness for years, and what do I get? "You never say anything nice to me," and do I ever get a "thank you" without force? NO!!

    I should have treated my kids like crap their whole lives so that any crumb of kindness I tossed their way would be received with the simple appreciation I deserve, dammit.

    Your neighbors suck.

  • At Saturday, February 19, 2005 1:29:00 PM, Blogger Ann said…

    My daughter's biggest criticism of me when she was a teen was that I was alive and in the same state. Oh, and that I was "too nice."

    She's 24 now, and we're over it. She's a grown up.

  • At Saturday, February 19, 2005 10:20:00 PM, Blogger Phoebe said…

    Ann, that is so reassuring. Sometimes just looking at her is against the law. She's the only one who still likes big hugs, so I have brief moments of sunshine.

    I AM too nice. That bugs people. I remember thinking my grandma was too nice. She was the sweetest person in my life. How could I be irritated that she was so nice? This is the karma I have built for myself.

    Does anyone know about how to change your karma? I really want to know.


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