Brain Barf

May contain traces of nuts.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

So Schmo(e) wants to talk about sex...

How about this weather? What is the meaning of life? What about this NFL? What a seriously fucked up season this was. When even big fat lame ass losers make it to the play offs to....Let me see...LOSE. Fucking losers. Did I mention they lost? Hasta la taco Holmgren.
Guaranteed there will be no hockey nor sex talk on THIS blog.
Unless of course it's my idea.
I would love to post my schedule like my much admired friend Ms. Bard, but...BUT...I am painfully shy and I know that stalkers totally dig married chicks with 4 kids, Pangaea asses, who have social and generalized anxiety disorders.
Oh doG at least I crack myself up.
But seriously (its my blog, I can start sentences with but, and, so or anything else I feel like, don't make me start acronyming), my schedule is crazy. It was crazy before I started school.
OK math geniuses. Q? 4 kids, 1 spouse, 1 household, 2 dogs, full time school, on-call/partime work and throw in the flu for shits and giggles on a train going 50 miles an hour in reverse = = = = ?
A? Me, glorious rash inflicted perversely happy me, in scrubs no less.

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Bonus question. Q? How many times do I have to tell blogger spell check to learn the word "fucking" before it actually LEARNS.


  • At Tuesday, January 18, 2005 7:37:00 AM, Blogger Dave said…

    You put 'sex' in your title (not to mention Schmo(e)) which has the obvious and most predictable effect of making me read it, and it turns out it has nothing to do with sex or me (unless you count hearing about your "Pangaea ass").

    What is with you blogging ladies? Now I'm starting to get pissed! (Several beers will do that).

  • At Tuesday, January 18, 2005 7:57:00 AM, Blogger Phoebe said…

    Damn! you look good, woman!!
    Can I say that? I'm still straight. No worries.
    How 'bout this way:
    Me ugly. You pretty.

    It is too fun to string Schmo along. Good job ;)

  • At Tuesday, January 18, 2005 12:51:00 PM, Blogger Miranda said…

    Blogger spell check doesn't even recognize fucking blog. How lame is that? I hate blogger spell check.

    Even if I post my schedule, I doubt anyone could ever find me. Unless you have the secret code to my electronic tether, aka my cell phone aka thing that Frodo should have chucked into the fires of Moldor (sp?) because it has a life of its own and takes over my mine.

    I better take my vitriolic spewing mouth and wide ass over to the tutor meeting so I can contemplate sticking sharp objects into my orifices in order to speed the time along.

  • At Tuesday, January 18, 2005 1:11:00 PM, Blogger JoeinVegas said…

    At least a train going in reverse is on the tracks. But offering Schmo sex, that's a perverse thought.

  • At Tuesday, January 18, 2005 2:10:00 PM, Blogger Ms-Chievous said…

    I'm SO stealing this...
    "I better take my vitriolic spewing mouth and wide ass over to the tutor meeting so I can contemplate sticking sharp objects into my orifices in order to speed the time along."

  • At Tuesday, January 18, 2005 3:57:00 PM, Blogger none said…

    Keri you rock!

    PS. I take mine with a drop of milk, no sugar. ;)

  • At Thursday, January 20, 2005 4:06:00 AM, Blogger Randy said…

    Oh, where are my manners? I've never offered any sex to Schmo. If you're out there, Schmo, meet me in the men's room, third stall from the door. I'll be on the other side of the glory hole.

    Hey, I went to a college where you kinda just know how those kinds of things work.

  • At Friday, January 21, 2005 10:58:00 AM, Blogger Dave said…

    Randy, you just made my day.

    Why does this remind me of Dumb and Dumber? Will you be the one sucking your thumb?


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