Brain Barf

May contain traces of nuts.

Friday, December 17, 2004

Thieves in the morning.

The first time I was privileged to visit the dentist was when I was about 5 years old. He numbed me up, and I looked at his teeth all rotten and yellow and I smelled his halitosis and was literally scared for my life and mandibles.
The dentist dude did his duty. I got nitrous oxide and dreamed of Strawberry shortcake (the doll, not the cake) and I went back out to the car with my "mother" and I tried to smile and something wasn't right, so I looked in the mirror and tried to smile again, and then broke out in tears. I truly cried and thought, "That man stole my smile."
I had to go to the dentist this morning. He totally invaded my safe bubble space. Oh, all the touching and drilling and small talk was not even worth the Vicodin, but the bibs rock! What 30 year old doesn't want to wear a bib!?! I mean I wasn't even at the crab pot?
The true beauty of it all is that I had to pay out $1000.00 a week before Christmas for the privilege.
Wait, I think I just felt the Christmas spirit, time for more pain killers. :o)
I got a root canal, or "root therapy" as they now call it, this morning. Funny, my tooth still feels pissed. I don't think the "therapy" worked.
This is why I have had such a bad sinus infection and ear ache the last few weeks.

Next.
My oldest daughter turns 13 (thirteen as in TEEN) on January third. I start school on January third. Maybe I should schedule another "root therapy" session on January third just to round it all out. Or possibly paper cuts on my eyeballs and lemon juice eye drops?

Finally.
My younger (hot mormon) sister is getting married. Which brought up the whole topic of walking down the aisle and getting "given away".
When it comes to my daughters, there will be NONE of that "giving away shit". Not that I necessarily want them back mind you, but it will be more like the Mexican 99 year land lease deal.


5 Comments:

  • At Saturday, December 18, 2004 9:33:00 AM, Blogger Miranda said…

    Dear Dawg in Heaven! Ithink you better save some of that Vicodin for the third. Congrats on raising a child to wonderful age of 13. Somedays, I wonder if my oldest will ever make it to that milestone.

     
  • At Saturday, December 18, 2004 11:11:00 AM, Blogger none said…

    (big groan)

    Good luck with it all!

     
  • At Saturday, December 18, 2004 3:22:00 PM, Blogger Phoebe said…

    My root canal never "took," even when they did it again. AGAIN. And then capped it. Holy hell, I can still feel pain, and I did get lots of throat aches and head aches that very strong aspirin couldn't touch. I think Vicodin would have only put me to sleep. Here's hoping you fare better.

    I start classes on the third, too!! Already a heart-stopping bill came in the mail for tuition. No way did school cost this much 20 years ago. And apparently, seeing a school counselor costs $100 a visit. I had not idea I was being charged. Geez, that counselor makes more than my therapist per hour.

    Sorry I'm so chatty. Shuttin' up in a minute, but first I'd like to say it's good to see you back. Shutting up now.

     
  • At Saturday, December 18, 2004 9:03:00 PM, Blogger Miranda said…

    $100 bucks to see an advisor?!?!?!!??!?! The hell?? Okay, done jacking Keri's blog.

     
  • At Sunday, December 19, 2004 2:57:00 PM, Blogger Tim said…

    dammit, now I want to go to the crab pot... mmmm... bibs :)

    I hope your ear at least is better :) Merry Christmas!!!

     

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