Brain Barf

May contain traces of nuts.

Sunday, October 17, 2004

Four Bores and 7 hours ago.

I bought a rat.
I am now an official Rat Owner. (RO) She (because I looked thats why) is white and peachy colored.
Now I have dated many a Human Rat (HR, yeah yeah I know,enough of the acronyms), but I never thought that I would be an actual RO.
There was significant amounts of coersion and offspring whining involved, but deep down I may secretly enjoy being a RO.
Her name is Jack Rat. I know, I know, fuck off.... but it was better than Templeton Snuggles.
I don't know what it is about me, but I attract and am attracted to needly helpless thingy majiggers, especially when they are soft and furry and cute and fuzzy and I have no willpower against soft and furry and cute and fuzzy things.
For those of you that have not of yet grasped the concept of mammals (phlegmface), aka soft and furry and cute and fuzzy creatures, living in a household....PISS off, you are not the Messiah, you are just a naughty boy!
My house has and will NEVER smell of dog or rat.
OH, and like the smell of human is any better.
Now Petunia (my Mini Viener Vorshtel dog) has defecated her brains out today because she firmly believes that if she shits enough, that the rat will be her treat.
Petunia has spent the majority of the day sitting on the !leather sofa! staring at the Jack rat cage. When staring gets fruitless she commences digging. Digging!! Digging in one spot with her belief that if she can dig through the hard wood floors that the RAT WILL BE HERS.


  • At Sunday, October 17, 2004 10:18:00 AM, Blogger Ann said…

    The only time I've ever had a rodent was when we bought them to feed to the snake. The snake has since died, so we no longer have rodents. Well, except for the very large rat that took up residence in our house, and DH set a trap, but the rat tripped it and didn't get caught. DH said that he would now be trap shy, so he put out poison in the attic, then left for the American Society of Mammalogists annual meeting. After he was gone for about three days, there was a very unpleasant smell in the hallway, near the garage. Damn rat had died in the attic, during the summer in Louisiana. He dried up very quickly and the smell went away, as it was about 120 degrees in our attic. DH took the dried, dead rat out of the attic when he got home, about five days later.

    DH spent every other weekend for two months trapping rodents in New Mexico. They would catch one of each species, and then any subsequent catches of the same species would have a toe clipped off, so they would not count them again if they caught them again.

    I like mammals, too. Many of them are quite tasty when broiled or grilled and served with a lovely sauce.

  • At Sunday, October 17, 2004 8:11:00 PM, Blogger Just Me said…

    Petunia cracks me up! My weenie dog AND my both my daughter's weenie dogs do the same thing when they want something...pretend to be digging in one spot no matter where it is...floor, sofa, etc. Funny little creatures.

    We had hamsters once. One ate the other. I looked for the other till I was crazy and when cleaning out the cage a few days later found only a foot left. GROSS SICK DISGUSTING. We will NEVER own hamsters again. They were supposed to be compatible, etc, etc. They were fed very well. I don't know what happened but it made me ill.

    I will read about your adventures with Mr. Rat. I don't think I can own another rodent. Or ever own a snake.

  • At Monday, October 18, 2004 7:49:00 AM, Blogger JoeinVegas said…

    Templeton Snuggles. I love that. Why not? Doesn't Jack snuggle?

  • At Tuesday, October 19, 2004 11:05:00 AM, Blogger Dave said…

    Hey now... first of all, I know you meant me when you said phlegmface.

    Second of all, I'm only a phlegmface if I forget to refrain from spitting into the wind (sometimes, the urge just hits, you know?)

    Third of all, I know I'm not the messiah. My mom admitted she wasn't a virgin.

    Fourth of all, everyone knows I'm a naughty boy, so your comment is redundant.

    Fifth of all, we have two cats currently living in our house. We used to have three, but our eldest died last year, and I cried. So I do understand the concept of mammals living in my house. I just happen to use more discretion when choosing my mammals.

    Sixth of all, cat smell is far easier to control than dog smell. When a cat jumps up on me, it’s cute. When a dog jumps up on me, it’s a capital offense.

    Seventh of all, I don't begrudge those who are crazy enough to let dogs ruin their homes. It's their house, after all. Just don't ask to bring your mutt into my house, because I’d like to keep mine intact.

    Eighth of all, I agree with Ann. Most mammals are best enjoyed medium-well over coals with a little horseradish, mint sauce, applesauce, or barbeque sauce, depending on the mammal in question.

  • At Sunday, October 24, 2004 11:57:00 PM, Blogger Texas Gurl said…

    my ex had two rats that his ex left behind when she moved out. yuck. they are all soft and furry except for the huge sharp teeth and nasty hairless rat tail. one had a tumor on its neck that slowly started getting gigantic. i tried to be understanding so i did some research on them. evidently most rats sold are females, most develope tumors that need to be removed promptly after you notice them, and they can and will kill and eat each other regardless of how well they are fed. just a little heads up. but whatever makes you happy... :)


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