Brain Barf

May contain traces of nuts.

Friday, October 08, 2004


Image Hosted by
One definition of family according to Webster is: Two or more people who share goals and values, have long-term commitments to one another, and reside usually in the same dwelling place. With this definition, "family" could mean an internet Bulletin Board, or a blogger site or an assisted living facility, yes?
Pardon me while I reflect for a bit. Or don't...Whatever suits ya.
One of my most memorable residents, maybe not favorite because she annoyed the holy shit out of me on some days, was a lady named "Amy" (named changed to protect the dead).
She had severe short term memory loss and would repeat the same stories over and over and over and over and over and over....and well, you get the idea.
When I first started working at assisted living, she told me her stories for the first time (to me anyway).
One of them was about her house, and HOW she missed her own little home, and where it was (two blocks away from my current home) and the home improvements her and her husband had made to the house, and the children she had raised there, and her dog who would jump off of the forbidden rocking chair the second that he heard their car pull in the driveway, but when they came in they knew where he had been because the chair was still rocking, and how one day her husband just sat on the edge of the bed and died.
Her children rarely if ever visited and her main contact outside of assisted living was a semi-caring-granddaughter.
What a tailspin her stories sent me into at the time.
This was her life story, and would/will probably be very similar to my life story. So what is the point? Especially for us females if you look at the ratios of men to women in long term care facilities. The men bail out early. They die on us. Fuckers.
Oh yes, the point. What IS THE POINT?? If you say "just live your life to the fullest and make a difference to those around you" I will vomit on your shoes.
I don't know the point. I've given up on trying to be eloquent and understanding and knowledgeable and just in general giving a fuck.
It hasn't served me very well to date, so if it's not working then try something else, right?
I have decided to adopt a "don't give a fuck" attitude.
I'll let you know how it goes. Wait, no I won't because...I don't give a fuck.
This is all foreign territory for me, so I'll have to take baby don't give a fuck steps.
Please, if you see me, and I look like I care, please remind me that I don't give a fuck.


  • At Friday, October 08, 2004 12:32:00 AM, Blogger doug said…

    fuckin eh I am planning on dying before you and why the fuck not? In fact, I am 44, I could just up and fucking croke right now what with my hardened arteries and all, what the fuck!

    hey its a fuck free for all, whippy! god I love a post where people don't give a fuck about any fucking thing, it is fucking great, just fucking great I tell ya, but what the fuck do you care?

  • At Friday, October 08, 2004 12:34:00 AM, Blogger doug said…

    btw, that was another great fucking Keri post, I fucking mean it ok, so don't tell me to fuck off, I am fucking serious, you are fucking great!

  • At Friday, October 08, 2004 12:44:00 AM, Blogger Ms-Chievous said…

    12:32 AM
    voodew said...
    fuckin eh I am planning on dying before you and why the fuck not? In fact, I am 44, I could just up and fucking croke right now what with my hardened arteries and all, what the fuck!
    hey its a fuck free for all, whippy! god I love a post where people don't give a fuck about any fucking thing, it is fucking great, just fucking great I tell ya, but what the fuck do you care?

    12:34 AM
    voodew said...
    btw, that was another great fucking Keri post, I fucking mean it ok, so don't tell me to fuck off, I am fucking serious, you are fucking great

    I know your ways...just try and delete this Mother Fucker! :o)
    Fuckfest 2004

  • At Friday, October 08, 2004 1:04:00 AM, Blogger doug said…

    Laughing out fucking loud

  • At Friday, October 08, 2004 1:41:00 AM, Blogger doug said…

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  • At Friday, October 08, 2004 1:42:00 AM, Blogger doug said…


  • At Friday, October 08, 2004 1:43:00 AM, Blogger doug said…

    missed me, missed me, now you gotta dis me

  • At Friday, October 08, 2004 1:45:00 AM, Blogger doug said…

    hey, when are you going to get your speakers fixed so you can partake of my audio? huh, I mean who the hell do you think I am making this for?

  • At Friday, October 08, 2004 6:25:00 AM, Blogger Ms-Chievous said…

    Fucking Insomniacs!! I'm trying to be depressed here and you ARE NOT making it easy! Jeezy Kreezy... :o)

  • At Friday, October 08, 2004 7:08:00 AM, Blogger doug said…

    OH - depressed you say, well my bad, here it is I thought you just wanted to fuck off, OK, well I can help with maintaining depression, believe me! Here, I will copy some work produced from your favorite gang over at the foyer. You see they have been compiling a list of things they never want to hear again and when I read it trust me when I say I got very very depressed. Warning: you may want to kill me after you read this. But there again I am an inspiration because now you are homocidal instead of suicidally depressed. Alrighty then, are we ready to begin the depressing walk down memory lane? BEGIN:


    The church is perfect, the members aren't.

    If their is ANYone that I have offended......

    We prayed and the Lord has siad it is time for us to move on. (Final farewell at many F&T mtgs.)

    "I'd like to bury my testimony. I lub by mommy ad daddy. I know da church is true. nameajesuschristamen."

    "By the power of the holy MelchizeDick priesthood vested in me....."

    "Women, bow your heads and say, "Yes"

    "We will now turn the remainder of the hour over to the congregation for the bearing of testimonies..."

    followed by a long very uncomfortable silence as everyone needles each other to get up and bring a merciful end to the unbearable silence.....

    "...bless all of those who aren't here this week, that they might be able to join us next week..."


    "...bless this food that it will give us the nourishment and strength that we need..."

    "The name by which she shall be known upon the records of the church and throughout her life . . ."

    1. I just don't know where I would be without the church
    2. I know where I would be without the church, and it isn't pretty.
    3. Nourish and strengthen
    4. Unto
    5. Obedience is like a road map
    6. This day (meaning: today)
    7. (At the closing of a talk addressing the congregation) In the name of THY son...

    " . . . with every fiber of my being."

    "Our dearkindeternalheavenly father..."

    "Now I'll turn the time over to...."

    "The sisters will now veil their faces..."

    "Are you LDS?"

    "worldly" or "the world would tell us..."

    "morality" or "moral problem" when referring exclusively to sexual issues

    "partake of"

    "choice experience"

    "sweet spirit"


    Well holy shit if that isn't fucking depressing then I don't know what to do for you. Man wanted to slit my throat just while I was in the act of re-compiling those phrases.

    So good luck Keri, hope you have a totally shitty day, depressing and all. Maybe you will get lucky (I don't mean with your husband) and something bad will happen. You know, like the Elders come knocking on your door or something like that.

    ps even though this was meant as a playful romp, I feel bad for having made your comment section bad with the walk down Mormon phrase lane, ugggg.

  • At Friday, October 08, 2004 7:19:00 AM, Blogger Phoebe said…

    Geez, Kerri.

    That was how I was feeling two weeks ago, and I thought I was over it. What IS the fucking point?

    I'm going to be a senile old lady in a rest home with nothing interesting to say about my life because I lived it so cautiously I can't even go out of the house and get stinkin' drunk when my husband isn't looking -- like he'd notice anyway. I wanted to always be able to say I was a great mom. Well, so what? Isn't that special? Most moms are great moms. And the kids don't give it a second thought. It's the shitty moms that get talked about constantly. Why couldn't I have been the shits for a mom?

    Kerri -- look what you did. You undid weeks of therapy. You have to come to my blog and say something funny or I'll just go ahead and slit my wrists today.

  • At Friday, October 08, 2004 7:38:00 AM, Blogger Jo said…

    I'm gonna be a senile old woman secluded in an old shack in the hills. I will live with my anti gov't schizo son and have 200 cats (don't like cats that much but hey, isnt' that what old eccentric women do?) I will relive the same stories over and over. It's a nice way to go, actually. Like a stuck record cuz you can't remember alot of the bad shit. You just have a few select memories. Kids won't be allowed to come near my shack for fear I might eat them. I will have no teeth and very little hair. I will eat canned cat food and say fuck a lot. And sweep the same spot on my porch 300 times a day. I can go on an on.........

  • At Friday, October 08, 2004 10:06:00 AM, Blogger Ms-Chievous said…

    Pheebs, DON'T READ THIS.
    A great thought to add to the general "depressing theme" on my blog today is...
    How many people have I seen, who had the achievment plaques on their walls, the pictures of family and their collections or artwork, who were ex-senators, mayors, parents, artists ...but they have severe dementia/alzheimers and die never even knowing that they lived.

    (VooDew, I'll get you my pretty...and your little dog too!!!)

  • At Friday, October 08, 2004 10:31:00 AM, Blogger Dave said…

    What's the point of asking, "What's the point?"

    Does life have to have a meaning? Who gives a fuckin shit, anyway? Really? Who gives a fuckin shit? The world is filled with fucking cocksuckers who don't know their fucking assholes from a hole in their fucking heads. As soon as the next fucking person tries to tell me what the fucking meaning of life is, I'm going to tell them they should go fucking kill themselves if that's the best they can fucking do.


  • At Friday, October 08, 2004 12:12:00 PM, Blogger Ms-Chievous said…

    That's the spirit Dave!!! Fuck off!! Yeah!
    The cow photo...I think that is the way that cows "give the finger".

    Altogether now FUCK OFF!! See now I feel better already.

  • At Friday, October 08, 2004 12:22:00 PM, Blogger doug said…

    But Dave, you have in fact just told us from your point of view what the meaning of life is - so really you need to tell yourself to fuck off - don't you see this - do you see this hole in your thinking/head.

    Now in the spirit of this fine blog post/comment section you are required to tell me to fuck off.

    Oh and the meaning of life is actually nothingness.

    [ms C, you should be melting any minute now]

  • At Friday, October 08, 2004 5:00:00 PM, Blogger none said…

    @Keri, yes, not give a fuck, sounds good, then why the fuck does it come so naturaly to some people and so hard to others?

    My grandmother gave a fuck for 40 years and then went off and lived as a self-sufficient hermit for the next 20 years. She then got cancer of the liver and died within 9 months.

    Sounds good to me... except the last part that is. I´m planning to follow that grand-tradition (with 20,000 books and 500 cats and my son if he still needs me.) @Jo: great minds think alike. ;)

  • At Saturday, October 09, 2004 1:57:00 AM, Blogger bluebear said…

    Ms Ch--

    Boy that's a hard act to follow kinda like standing in the middle of main street bare ass naked, masterbating with the sure confidence that no one can see you.
    yyeeehhaaaaaaaaaa(I HAVE GOT TO do something about these outbursts-oh well-- back to therapy).



Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home