Brain Barf

May contain traces of nuts.

Thursday, September 16, 2004

Yum! Yak Butter!!

I take great pride in my "sicking my daughter out" skills.
She is becoming quite schooled in the art also. In my line of work though, I have great opportunities to obtain amazing sicking out fodder. Therefore I am still the Yoda Mamma Master.
Do you have a specific word that just sounds horrible to your ears? Like someone scraping their fingers on a chalkboard sound? Mine growing up was “luckily” ~shudder~. My best friends word was skillet. Hehe, I worked that word into damn near every sentence (she is now a Psychologist, I’m not sure if it was for her, or because of me).
Anyhoo, my daughter’s fingernails on the chalk board word is…nipple…. just say it really slow, and you’ll know what she’s talking about. Nih pull.
I was sent home from work tonight sick. I really need to learn how to fake fevers because it gets ones ass kicked out the door quite efficiently.
All the more opportunity to spend quality time with those I love. BruuHaaHaaa. >:o)
Hey daughter, did you know that when ladies get old that they get hair in weird places? (Raised eyebrow response) Yes, so I was in the whirlpool room with an old lady tonight and believe it or not, she had hairy nih pulls. (Dry heave) and not just that, she was in the tub you know, and so she had moist hairy nih pulls(laughing, dry heaving and trying to give me a dirty look all at the same time), and then because bath time serves a purpose you know, next we had to wash her moist crevices, of which most were hairy (bowing to the Yoda Momma and retreating from the room).
Tomorrows topic is toenail fungus.
I always say, I’m not saving for college, I’m saving for therapy.
Amen.

8 Comments:

  • At Thursday, September 16, 2004 11:20:00 PM, Blogger doug said…

    That was pretty funny Keri. I can just see the gleam in your eye as you train young yoda daughter.

    Toenail fungus AKA toe jam, yummy! Nothing like some toe jam with a little lung butter on a crusty bun. Tell me, where the hell is the silver lining in the silver years? not with little wipper snapper shits like us poking holes through their rice paper skin. (ops, I just had a guilt moment, but it's over now).

    I am trying to think of my "word", the chalkboard word. I will get back to you on this.

     
  • At Friday, September 17, 2004 12:58:00 AM, Blogger none said…

    My chalkboard word? Lovely.

    >I always say, I’m not saving for college, I’m saving >for therapy.

    Sharing the same water with other people´s moist crevices and toenail-fungus will do that to you. ;)

    No, no, I know what you mean...

     
  • At Friday, September 17, 2004 3:29:00 PM, Blogger Phoebe said…

    Ready for some Mormon shit?

    My "hatiest" words are from the Mormon Anthology of Trite, Overused Words:

    portion -- as in, "a portion of thy spirit"

    nourish and strengthen -- as in "our bodies"

    appropriate -- as in, "that wasn't appropriate"

    reverent manner -- as in, "in which the sacrement was served"

    Well, that's all I can stomach. Good topic.

     
  • At Saturday, September 18, 2004 8:52:00 AM, Blogger bluebear said…

    ooooooooooeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

    MAJOR TURN ON!!!!!!!!(HAIRY NIPPLES OH MY
    WET ONES YET000000000000 THAT WAS GOOD)

    'hafta light up after that one'

    I wonder if this blog is legal today, maybe I should put this one in a plain brown paper bag

    My favorite is 'a heap of sour owl shit', it's hard to find but when you do it's worth the gross out or gross in --what ever turns your crank

    those with foot fetishes arise- you have been slandered

    I think I have been slaked


    adieu

     
  • At Sunday, September 19, 2004 9:43:00 PM, Blogger Jo said…

    LOL you are too much, blue bear!

    Ms. C. I miss you. You are no longer allowed to go away on weekends. Shame on you!

     
  • At Monday, September 20, 2004 12:08:00 AM, Blogger Ms-Chievous said…

    ~sniff~Jo, that one little comment almost made me post again. I have shells for you...~sniff~

     
  • At Monday, September 20, 2004 8:00:00 AM, Blogger Jo said…

    I sam jesalousa. No I sam not misasapelling - my keybosard isa f'd up. wqhen I hit one letter towq type out wqeird. Time for newq keybosard. saigh

     
  • At Tuesday, September 21, 2004 9:55:00 AM, Blogger Dave said…

    My word would have to be "lickin'", as in:

    "Get over here right now or you're gonna get a lickin'!" Forget about the actual spanking... Hearing that word is punishment enough!

     

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