Brain Barf

May contain traces of nuts.

Friday, September 24, 2004

Shoes are not Canoes.

This post IS NOT work safe. It is also not safe for children. This isn't going to be pretty. I don't even recommend reading it. I'll probably end up deleting this because it is just too painful.
OK here goes.
I have a friend, a co-worker even, that I really liked and respected. That all fell apart Wednesday night. Some serious lines were crossed. I just don't have the same respect for him that I did. I can barely look at him now.
Kee-rist, OK, I'm just going to spill it, lay it all out on the table, I know I may lose some of your collective respect I may or may not have had after this post.
He... Oh shit, He...
He has bad sunglasses.
No you don't understand, really really bad sunglasses. I'm not fucking kidding here. The kind that they wore in 1990 that wrap around your face? Mirror lenses, with flames on the side. Like, VanillaIce bad.
Why I ask you, WHY? OH the PAIN! My eyes, it burns us! Is that even legal?
I could barely even type that out. I now have sweaty tongue.
I performed a "bad sunglass' intervention", also known as "BSI". I did everything I could to help him come to the "light side".
He asked.......he begged me to relieve him of them once he understood the errors of his ways. Maybe I should have. I'll probably have guilt over this for awhile, but I couldn't take them, not even to cure him of his affliction. I just couldn't bring myself to even touch them.
Then he did something so horrible and un-called for and really there isn't any excuse for it, he asked me to give them to my daughter!! WTF? It's all fine and good until you want to drag innocent children into your sickness!?
Ryan, please seek help.
I'm such a humanitarian.


  • At Friday, September 24, 2004 9:44:00 PM, Blogger Phoebe said…

    I was going to explain to you that 80s sunglasses are now back "in," but really what is needed here is me telling you ya had me fooled for a second there. I thought you were going to talk about workplace ....



    newspaper sharing.

  • At Saturday, September 25, 2004 10:40:00 AM, Blogger Jo said…

    I was surprised to see stretch leggings (like in the 80's) when school shopping for my youngest. ugh. I liked the 70s fashions...the 80's, sorry, it got weird in the 80's. Huge sunglasses....heeeeeee Huge hair.....huge leg warmers.......huge earrings.......huge shoulder pads. sigh

    Your friend is luck to have you. :)

  • At Saturday, September 25, 2004 1:30:00 PM, Blogger none said…

    The 80´s was fashion disaster of the decade. Lots of fun thought. :)

  • At Monday, September 27, 2004 9:26:00 AM, Blogger Dave said…

    I don't understand. The glasses you described sounded totally cool...


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