Brain Barf

May contain traces of nuts.

Monday, September 06, 2004

Fat bottomed Beauties.

You say black. I say white. You say bark. I say bite. You say shark. I say hey man, Jaws was never my scene and I don't like Star Wars. (Sorry I disagree with you on this Freddy.) You say Rolls. I say Royce.
You say God. Give me a choice? You say Lord. I say christ, I don't believe in Peter Pan, Frankenstein or Superman. All I wanna do is Bicycle, bicycle, bicycle.

I crawled outside of my lonesome box tonight and visited the local red neck hang out A.K.A, Walmart (puke). If any of you have viewed the DVD "Larry the cable guy" and laughed at it, you have essentially laughed at my pain.
The checker-out (literally) dude was probably in his 40's and felt the need to comment on the Pink Panther logo on my chest.
Dude, if you feel like checking out the damaged titties just do so.
Don't try to make small, pink panther, talk because I will call you on it, like I just did.
That's right, don't mess with the self appointed social hermit, because I have nothing to lose.
Why can't I just buy my fucking pop tarts and Corona in peace? Or to speak your language, why can't I just git-r-dun?
I swear to "whatever" that if I ever venture into another Hell/Wal-mart I will don sweat pants (holy vomit, there ought to be a law against sweat pants and Lycra) a "baby on board" T-shirt, a truckers hat and black out few teeth just to quiet the beasts.
I wish I could accurately describe the (mentally ill) feeling I get when someone leers at me.
It makes me feel like they have taken a physical "chunk", "piece" out of me.
Can't explain that. Don't even understand it myself. Not open for criticism.
I've had too much time off of work due to my damaged milk jug, and I am milking it. ROTFLMAO.
I'm 47 in blog years as of this post.


  • At Monday, September 06, 2004 7:24:00 AM, Blogger Heather said…

    i know just how you feel. on my trip for the holiday weekend, i was dressed up to go out with a girl friend, and driving alone. i had to deal with idiots at stoplights leering. after about the first half hour, i started giving them the bird. it didn't stop the leering, but i felt better :)

  • At Monday, September 06, 2004 7:28:00 AM, Blogger Jo said…

    "47 yrs in blog years" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!! (okay not funny anymore what's wrong with FORTY SEVEN?????) :) you know I;m kidding

    Damaged titties.....girl you crack me up!

    I hate the leering, too. I hate it I hate it I hate it. Especially in front of my kids and they get to tell me - "that old man (yeah it's usually the old men that like me and don't say that's cuz I;m old) is staring at your ass, mom." Did you see that? grrrrrrrrrr Or worse seeing them stare at my DD's ass. That's when my face becomes distorted and I start following the old dude around to make him nervous. Or say outloud, "oh my god, ______, did you see that old pervert stare at your ass?????? I bet he's a bishop or something. What a sick shame. Let me walk behind you and block his view. PERVERT!" I have this problem that when I become agitated in public about something like this I cannot refrain from opening my mouth.

    Pink Panther rocks, btw. And I hope you enjoyed your pop tarts and Corona. And I hope your damaged titty heals fast. :)

  • At Monday, September 06, 2004 8:21:00 AM, Blogger Miranda said…

    Ack - the only reason I can laugh at any of the guys is because I'm safely ensconsed in yuppieville, far, far away from all of that. And GD husband wants to move back to shithole wyoming. At least he understands that if he feels he must go back, he will most likely be alone and I will hire a danm good attorney.

    Highlight of our social life when we lived there as borderline TBMs: cruising Wal-Mart to run into everyone we knew and getting some Mickey D's afterward. I died inside knowing this was a step up from staying at home.

    Highlight of dh's ex and their crowd: going to the Holiday Inn bar.

    Highlight of the kiddies there: getting stoned on meth in some place just out of town.

    Its much easier to be a square in the middle of urban area than in most rural areas now it seems.

  • At Monday, September 06, 2004 3:08:00 PM, Blogger none said…

    The guys where I live are not much prone to leering, unless it´s a foreigner like me. It´s such a relief compared to where I grew up.

    A woman couldn´t even walk alone down the street without guys beeping their horn while passing by. (Or even worst, pass by really slowely, while making lewed comments.)

    I kinda lost it once and stuck my ice-cream cone in the face of some stranger who kept stalking me.

    PS. I keep reading poop-tarts for some reason. I need to get my glasses adjusted.

  • At Thursday, September 09, 2004 1:48:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    The only power men have is what you give them.


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