Brain Barf

May contain traces of nuts.

Monday, July 12, 2004

Warm tomatoes

You know those days......, when you are so emotionally drained that you just go numb, and the numbness is almost a relief?
Where your brain refuses to focus anymore on any one subject except the only subject that you wish it would bypass.
Where you find yourself standing in the middle of the room, crying, but don't know how you got in the room and don't want to remember why you are crying.
One of those days that make me re-consider my life path, and wonder if I should have been a junkie instead.
There are those people in your lives that just leech your energy, suck the spark right out of you, and then just keep on driving never minding the "speed bump" that was what was left of you after they were done.
Then there are those people, who make a profound difference without even knowing it.
I found myself outside, in my garden where it seems I end up when I want something back, I give at home, I give at work, I give to the red cross ;o) and I give and I give and I give but I have a very VERY difficult time taking.

But I took what my garden had to offer today.
Somehow my salt shaker was in my pocket, and almost in an out of body experience I see myself sitting there eating my warm tomatoes like an apple with a little salt, warm but crisp cucumber with the skin on, and baby carrots,(sorry mommy carrot) I see that I have used my shirt tail to wipe the soil off of the carrots, and I'm barefoot and it just feels so basic and healing. And I breathe.
So I offer any of you that need it, a warm tomato and some soil between your toes.
Come sit in my garden.

And breathe.

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  • At Monday, July 12, 2004 4:57:00 PM, Blogger Brew said…

    A cluster of daffodils -
    Blooming at the corner of my shabby room
    The pure and delicate appearance gives off endless serenity
    And strokes painfully at my rough heart calloused in the morning by a hangover
    Oh, daffodils!
    Up to where did you modestly bloom?
    Now on streets
    The sky is dreary and gloomy
    The cold draught is cutting the skin
    Pale faces come and go, silently crouching
    In this cold, worn out world
    Daffodils, how could I believe
    The clarity and calmness of your birth?

    But definitely there was
    The innocent and graceful spirit
    In the gloomy air nestled like spring mist
    The patient and solemn roots were
    Buried alone enduring calmly the cold, profound pain of the deep entrosphere
    Daffodils, I bend over you
    And find the childlike smile and sparkling eyes of a young boy
    That everyone has forgotten completely
    Therefore I do not believe in this haggard life
    And in no way do I grieve for it
    Oh, daffodils
    I see
    In you the inborn innocence and foresight of the boy who will certainly return.
    A cluster of poor flowers
    Hiding from whom did you bloom at the corner of my lonely room
    Reflecting silently on the whole world
    A cold figure of endless purity and delicacy
    In this freezing substratum of the season
    You are the silently raised hands
    Holding the promise of spring.

    -Chihwan Yu

    I seek my solace on the beach, listening to the waves slowly roll, hearing the seabirds and seals cry for hours. Feeling the cool breeze blowing salt into myself. Seeing the trees, reach for the sky and strain for permanence against the breeze. Maybe, this once, I will try your garden, and see if fresh soil and tomatoes can heal as well......

  • At Monday, July 12, 2004 7:02:00 PM, Blogger Jo said… are just an AMAZING absolute joy. Thank you for that. :)

  • At Sunday, September 26, 2004 12:31:00 PM, Blogger Tim said…

    dammit, now I want a garden, thanks so much


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